Jumbled Mind

Pondering...Well. For months now, I have not really noticed that I have been acting so strangely. It is as if I have not been myself all the time. My mind has always been filled with thoughts of happiness and images of joy – in other words, I have been feeling puculiarly happy. Never have I noticed that until now. I have been feeling this since having seen images that makes me happy. I have been feeling this since I came to know one entity that makes me happy everytime I gaze upon it. And I always have this dream, that when I wake up, I tend to be sad. The dream is also connected to that entity for the reason that I saw her there. I have realized that all these weeks, I felt that I have been goofing around extremely. And I came to take some time to assess my self once again for these unusual behaviors of mine. It is I think reasonable to fight these feelings since this one is still in its infancy. I never ever wanted to intentionally feel this but it just came. I wanted to put it into a halt since these feelings aren’t that much strong. As I said, it is still in its stage of development. and I never wanted to pushing through with this, since I think this shall not be for the better. It could be of the worse. I decided to forget that entity actually, and tried to find other ways of ciphoning my attention to something more important than this one. I am going through some kind of a heavy heart for doing this, and I hope this shall be not for the worse. I wanted to get out of this situation when it is still young. And I am actually now doing this initiative. My mind is all mixed up. I know what to do really, but it seemed as if I don’t know what to do. Oh gosh. Here I am again… I know I was able to surpass all these same situations in the past. And I have a feeling I shall too with this one. I dunno how to express this in detail really, and I am not even sure if you’re getting the point of this post. Nothing had been expressed to that entity. Good thing I had not. And good thing is, it is still in its infancy – my feelings that is.

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